


the adventures of bunny!Spike

by thatotherperv



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angel s2 / Beige!Angel era, Animal Transformation, Buffy s5 / the Glory hole (snerk), Crack, Gen, Humor, Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-06
Updated: 2007-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-06 05:59:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatotherperv/pseuds/thatotherperv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>wherein Spike is a bunny-rabbit. no, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. bunny!Spike...so it began.

**Author's Note:**

> it all started with a post that entrenous88 made about a bunny named William (no really). and my brain is cracktastic, it is well known, so I immediately wrote this cracktastic thing, because everyone makes Spike into a cat, and why can't he be a bunny *facepalm* 
> 
> original posts collected [here](http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=thatotherperv&keyword=Bunny%21Spike+crackfic&filter=all). original post of first chapter [here](http://thatotherperv.livejournal.com/85363.html).

“WILLOW! _What_ did you _do_?”

They all crowded around the Rubbermaid container, staring blankly at its contents.

Spike peered up at them, nose twitching. His ears were long and silky.

“ _Please_ tell me you can put him back.”

“Um. Well, see, the thing is—”

“On second thought, he’s a hell of a lot quieter this way. It’s kinda nice, with the lack of ‘bloody hell’ and ‘you stupid poofter.’ Although, the human version did smell better.”

Was it possible for a bunny to glare? Xander could swear he heard several inventive English curses radiating out from little bunny body language. Spike hopped into the corner of his makeshift home and turned his nose sulkily into the corner, back hunched against the criticism.

“I guess a bunny can’t make with the Buffy-lusting. Well, in theory he could, but at least now I wouldn’t be tempted to….” Everyone stared at Buffy. Buffy cleared her throat. “Well, he’s sex…fluffy! And he has a sweet little tail.”

Bunny!Spike took a sudden interest in the proceedings, stretching up to place his paws on the lip of the container and nudging his nose into the Slayer’s crotch. So much for the theory on bunny-lusting. Spike’s perving was intact and healthy.

“Well.” Giles cleared his throat and scrubbed at his glasses, as Giles was wont to do when a bunny was making the moves on his slayer. “Even so, this is a serious problem. As Buffy has pointed out, Spike is the only one of us capable of protecting Dawn, and as it stands….”

“The most he could do is shake his fluffy rear-end at her?”

“Yes thank you, Xander, for that disturbing image. Now if we could just—”

The front door slammed and Dawn joined them When she caught sight of Spike, she squealed. “He’s so CUTE! OMG, can we keep him? Where’d he come from?”

Dawn reached in and petted his downy white-blond head. Spike preened at the attention, scrubbing his little bunny paws over his head, wiping at his face. 

“That’s Spike.”

“You’re kidding!” When she cooed at him, he took two bunny hops towards her and she scooped him up. Buffy was suspicious of the way Spike snuggled against Dawn’s breast while casting sly little looks her direction, but she didn’t want to sound like an idiot again. 

“Ok, well…I mean, I guess we should get cracking on the research.”

“Can I take him upstairs? I mean, it’s not like you need him in front of you, and you and mom never let me have a rabbit.”

“Cry me a river,” Buffy retorted. “Yeah, fine, knock yourself out. Just don’t—!” She added as Dawn started bounding up the stairs. “Don’t…take any of your clothes off, or anything.”

She got defensive when she was met with odd looks all around. “What! She could forget!”

“Check. No flashing the furball.” 

Buffy was almost positive she saw a flash of smug bunny vamp-face as Spike peeked over Dawn’s shoulder.

She didn’t trust that bunny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to fit a Bunnicula joke in here, but it just wasn't happening.


	2. bunny!Spike...the bunny strikes back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, who knew that popular demand for bunny!Spike would be so high? not me, that's for sure. I wrote a little bit more, and this time, *I* actually like it! haha. this one cracks me up. this is in response to a disturbing trend in the comments yall left. lmao. once again, I'm laying the blame squarely on the shoulders of others.
> 
> original post [here](http://thatotherperv.livejournal.com/85584.html)

When Buffy threw open her bedroom door and saw…what she saw, she felt utterly violated.

By Spike.

Who was still a bunny.

She screamed, a banshee shriek that Dawn would have been proud to call her own, and she _swore_ that Spike winked at her, even though Willow promised that he probably wasn’t even conscious of what was doing or what had happened to him.

But Buffy knew this was solid proof. This was _revenge_.

“What, what, where’s the fire?” Xander came thundering up the stairs, nearly skittering down the hallway past the door to her room in his haste. When he looked over her shoulder, his jaw dropped. “Is he…is Spike…..”

“He’s humping Mr. Gordo!” she cried. Xander could see that he was. Gleefully. With abandon. The mattress was shaking and his little bunny tail was twitching with effort. He paid no mind to the humans goggling in the doorway, intent on getting his end away. “I’m going to have to burn him now!”

Xander couldn’t resist. “Aww, come on. Don’t discriminate against their love, Buff. It’s a many-splendored thing.”

She pulled a face. “He’s _splendoring_ all over my down comforter. If Willow can’t put him back by tomorrow, we’re having rabbit stew.”

They watched with horror as Spike stopped his clumsy, grasping hip swivel and promptly fell asleep on top of the pig, leaving his partner shamefully in the lurch. Which was a pity, because Xander read on the internet that pigs had 30-minute orgasms. Apparently, a bunny? Not so much.

“Let’s all keep in mind that Amy is _still_ a rat.”

Xander placed a comforting hand on Buffy’s shoulder as she slumped in defeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the last line goes to kayt_arminta, who mentioned Amy the Rat in her fb and got me thinking. plus, her [icon](http://btvslover82.livejournal.com/85363.html?thread=1414259#t1414259) of a bunny getting a bit too excited over another inanimate object.


	3. bunny!Spike...custody issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> original post [here](http://thatotherperv.livejournal.com/86683.html)

Angel was not having a good day. He wasn’t having a good week, or even a good month.

So when Willow and Dawn showed up in the lobby of the Hyperion with a big brown box, he really didn’t want to deal with it. He had enough to deal with on his own, what with Darla and Dru, and firing all of his closest friends.

“Look, guys, I don’t know what’s in that box, and I don’t want to know. I can’t help you.”

The girls exchanged a look. There was a strange scuffling sound coming from inside the box. “See, we were really hoping you’d be able to, because I haven’t been able to fix him.”

“And Buffy says he can’t stay at the house anymore.”

Angel looked first at Willow, and then at Dawn. He didn’t like the sound of this. “Who?”

“Spike.”

Angel frowned. “What did he do.” 

Just when he thought Spike was the _least_ troublesome member of the family for once.

The girls exchanged another look, and he was thisclose to kicking them out of the hotel. “It’s not so much something _he_ did as something that was done _to_ him,” Willow offered. Well that was cryptic.

“Look, girls, I don’t have the patience for this. Is he hurt or what?”

“Not _hurt_ , no. He’s in the box.”

Angel froze, eyes going wide. “You _DUSTED_ him??”

“No!” Dawn said quickly. “No no no. Willow, show him.”

Angel’s brow crinkled when he peered into the cardboard box to find a plastic container full of…a bunny. “That’s…I don’t get it.”

“That’s Spike.”

Angel’s eyes shot up to Dawn. “What?”

Willow answered. “It’s Spike. Just…furier. I accidentally made him into a rabbit.”

Angel goggled. “You… _accidentally_ ….. Change him back!”

“Well, see, that’s the thing. I’ve been trying, and I can’t. And Buffy is kicking him out of the house. So we were kind of hoping you’d take him. Maybe Wes will know something.”

Maybe he would, but _that_ wouldn’t help _him_. “Nooo. No way. I’m not taking him.”

Willow and Dawn both gave him big, pitiful guilt-eyes. He smelled a set-up. “Then we have to take him to a shelter. You know what they do to bunnies at a _shelter_ , don’t you, Angel?”

Angel sighed, feeling he was on the losing end of this battle. “Why can’t you just keep him?”

“Xander’s girlfriend won’t even come to the house anymore, and there was this incident with a pig.”

“A…pig?

“Don’t ask.”

Before Angel could even get frustrated again, the box was thrust into his hands and he took it on reflex.

“Ok, so we’ve found that the best way to feed him is soak fresh vegetables in blood. Carrots and celery work best, because lettuce doesn’t hold the liquid. And don’t be disturbed by the leftovers, we think it’s perfectly normal.”

“…Perfectly normal? Guys?”

But they had already dashed out of the hotel.

Angel stared down into the box. Spike stared back. Angel had the distinct sense he was saying “You poofter” in Bunny. 

“Well. I guess it’s just you and me now…little guy.” Distinctly uncomfortable, he watched Spike sit up on his haunches and begin grooming himself. “You know, you’re kinda cute like this. At least you can’t talk back—”

Angel screamed as Spike took a big chomp out of his friendly, tickling finger. He could have sworn he heard the rabbit snicker.


	4. bunny!Spike...playtime with bunny

There was a bunny in Angel’s bed.

He was going to try not to think too hard about having a rodent or…whatever rabbits were….crawling around on his designer silk sheets. He’d learned the hard way that leaving Spike unattended while he slept was a bad idea.

How in the hell did one little furry body cause _that_ big of a mess? He shouldn’t even be able to _reach_ the counters. Not to mention the mystery of how he’d busted out of his little bunny jail in the first place. Angel had learned to leave a brick on top of the cage, but somehow he still got out.

But he’d discovered if he brought Spike in here with him, he behaved.

Mostly.

“What?” he asked the bunny…err…Spike. He’d long since stopped feeling self-conscious about asking it questions.

What he _did_ feel self-conscious about was the way that Spike was snuffling at his hand obsessively. And…did he just…did he just _lick_ him?

“What…stop that! What do you—” Angel lifted his hand to sniff it himself. He smelled like Drusilla’s perfume. “Ah. I can uh. I can explain. It’s not like—”

Suddenly Spike was nosing under the covers and there was a conspicuous warm lump burrowing towards his—

“HEY!” Angel threw back the covers and removed the rabbit that was currently sniffing over his crotch. He held bunny Spike up to eye level. “It’s polite to… _ask_ , you know? You can’t just climb on and…uh. Well. Nothing happened.”

He received a chilling bunny glare. 

“God, you are such a—I gave her a big meal and let her skip town, are you happy?”

Spike’s ears were still flattened back suspiciously, but he sniffed dismissively and squirmed until Angel put him down. 

Angel covered his groin with the blankets protectively. He hadn’t forgotten what had happened to his _finger_ the last time the bunny was annoyed. 

“Not like I could bring her around here to see you, you know. You know what she does to…fuzzy things.”

Spike ignored him, sitting out of arm’s reach and grooming for the night. Giving him a furry cold shoulder as he prepared to settle down wayyyy over there.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, no snuggles for _me_ tonight.” Spike gave Angel a look over his shoulder that said ‘well, _you’re_ a bright one,’ and for the thousandth time, Angel hoped that when Spike changed back, he wouldn’t remember any of this. Because _that_ was a sentence he’d never hear the end of. “Well, okayyy, you can stay wayyyy over there, but in that case, you’re not going to get your present.”

Spike turned around and stared at him. 

Angel lay back, folding his arms behind his head smugly. “Yup. You’d have really liked it, too. But I don’t give presents to bunnies that hold grudges.”

Spike scowled at that, but took a tentative half-hop forward.

“What, you want to see it?”

Hop, hop.

“Okay, hang on.” Excited, Angel reached into the bedside table drawer and drew out…something pink. And fluffy. He set it on the bed between them and waited.

Spike stared at it. Then he looked at Angel, little body vibrating with disbelief. Then he stared again at his present.

It was a pink bunny. A pink _marshmallow peep_ bunny.

There was a dramatic pause, and then Spike was flying across the bed, pouncing on the peep with alacrity. The marshmallow didn’t stand a chance. Spike had it in teeth shaking it as he tore big chunks away.

Angel didn’t think bunnies were supposed to be quite this…vicious. Gone was the fastidiousness of the vegetable-nibbling. This was serious—this was _personal_.

Long after the peep had gone quietly into the night, Spike was snuffling into the covers, trying to hoover all of the sticky crumbs off of the silk. 

God, his silk sheets…but this was _so_ worth it. 

Angel had a little blackmail of his own.

Satisfied that he had inhaled every last morsel, Spike hopped over to Angel and let himself be lifted onto Angel’s chest. He sprawled in a way that completely lacked dignity—belly tight and full, chin resting drowsily on Angel’s collarbone. There were no disdainful little looks when Angel started smoothing over his soft fur, rubbing his big fingers carefully over Spike’s little head, scratching between his ears. 

Angel sighed happily as the warm little body relaxed into his, face nuzzling into his throat. This was _nice_. It was like being a bunny had made Spike a little…cuddlier. A little more affectionate. Just look at the way he was snuffling wetly into Angel’s throat, like he was giving him little kiss—

“OW.” Angel touch the sharp nip Spike had taken at his skin and came away with bloody fingertips. A little pink tongue licked at his throat and Spike’s body shook in a snicker before it went bonelessly lax in sleep.


	5. bunny!Spike...playing well with others

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> original posting [here](http://thatotherperv.livejournal.com/108320.html)

“So…dude’s…a bunny.” 

Gunn, Wes, Cordy and Angel all stared down at the small white-blond ball of fluff amble-hopping across the lobby floor, thoroughly ignoring the reunited team of AI. Angel crossed his arms uncomfortably as he addressed Gunn.

“Uh. Yeah.”

“Fascinating. And yet he’s still…that is to say…he behaves like himself?”

Wes frowned doubtfully as Spike groomed himself in the center of the circle they formed. All his question brought to mind for Angel was a gleefully shredded peep. Certainly not a fuzzy, cuddly body. “Yeah, you could say that….”

“Well I suppose I should get to work on a reversal spell.”

“I, for one, like him better this way. He was always a little too…fashion victim with the hair. Fur is back in.”

Cordelia could have sworn that Spike shot her a dirty look over his shoulder. His hop took on a distinct swaggering quality.

“Aw, that’s just _wrong_. You want to keep the man a bunny cuz you don’t like his hair? That’s cold.”

“I’m sure Angel is quite anxious to restore Spike to his proper form so that his care is no longer his responsibility, right Angel?”

“Um….” 

Angel looked oddly shifty, and Wesley was quite sure a bunny should not be capable of snickering. He squinted at Spike, who immediately hopped off in an innocent manner.

“Yeahhhh, that’s probably for the best….” Suddenly Angel zeroed in on what his fuzzy little Childe was doing...and immediately panicked. “ _Spike_!!”

Angel dove for the bunny in question—a naughty, filthy little bunny who was craning on his rear legs below the hem of Cordy’s skirt, peering upwards in fascination.

“Oh…eeewww! _Eeewwww_!! I was just violated by a…by a fur coat gone wrong. I don’t get paid nearly enough for this.”

Gunn turned away to hide his snicker. Wes cleared his throat. “Now that everyone is in agreement…spell?”

“Yes. Please.”

Angel tucked Spike under his arm. If this was the last night he and bunny Spike were to spend together, they’d better make it special. He started backing towards the staircase. 

“I’m just going to…see, I keep him. I keep him in my room because…you know, otherwise he just causes trouble. So this way I can keep an eye on him. But he’s not! He’s not sleeping in my bed. Because, you know, that would be weird. Really weird. And kinda wrong. …Okay, g’night!”

Met with three blank stares, Angel turned and hurried up the stairs with his precious bundle.

… “Is it just me, or has he gotten even weirder?”

“Oh yes, absolutely.”

“Without a doubt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, that’s right. I said Childe. his fuzzy little Childe. CRACK FIC - I REGRET NOTHING.


	6. bunny!Spike...the startling conclusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> original post [here](http://thatotherperv.livejournal.com/108964.html).

Angel was ok with the possibility that Spike would be a bunny forever.

Wes had been working on a reversal spell for three weeks, to no avail. During that time, Spike had become a sort of mascot for Angel Investigations. Even Cordelia had long stopped wanting to make him into a piece of outerwear.

And Gunn had finally learned to heed Angel’s warning about not feeding him by hand when he almost lost a chunk of his finger. 

Spike was good for them. They said pets extended your lifespan. They had even celebrated Easter this year in his honor. Though Angel didn’t really think Spike had appreciated the little yellow felt beak they had strapped over his twitchy nose. 

At least, he concluded as much from the turd he later found in his coat pocket. He’d long since stopped asking himself how in the hell Spike got into the closet, because that was not the first time he’d found such a gift.

They were in their usual bedtime positions. Spike was cuddled against his breastbone, tucked up under his chin as always. He was such a tiny little bunny. Angel could practically engulf him with his whole hand.

Then again, he wasn’t that big of a guy.

Spike liked the attention, the little whore. He always had. When Angel stroked the soft indentation behind his ears, he got this hazy, blissed-out look in his eyes. His foot twitched woozily.

“It is kind of nice, the way you let me take care of you now. There is one thing about your human form I’m gonna miss though.” BunnySpike perked up, ears twitching to alertness. “I always liked your poems.”

There was a significant pause and then puff of smoke, and suddenly Angel was staring into too-close blue eyes, attached to a very naked, very not-bunny Spike. 

They blinked at one another in surprise.

Spike recovered first. “You are such a poofter.”

Angel didn’t know what the appropriate response was in this situation. He never would have admitted that to Spike Spike. They blinked at one another some more.

Neither of them got up to move apart. Having tried Offense, Spike switched to Defense.

“You mention this to anyone, and I’ll kill you.”

Angel smirked. “The way you killed the big, bad peeps?”

Spike was silent for a beat. “That’s on your head. Should make for a satisfying afternoon brood.”

“Over marshmallows?”

“How the fuck should I know what gets your soully rocks off?”

“Spike?”

“What.”

“How’d you change back? We were just…Wesley isn’t even working right now.”

There was nothing but silence. Spike’s eye was twitching. 

“Spike?”

The former rabbit mumbled something against his chest.

“What?”

“Itmademehappy.”

Angel blinked. “It made you—”

“Happy.”

“When I said I liked your—?”

“Bloody. Awful. Poetry. Yes, Liam, it made me perfectly happy.”’

“Perfectly—”

“Happy. Yes.”

Angel considered that for a minute. This could make really great blackmail material, but first he’d have to admit _what_ he’d said, and that was just…no. That was too mortifying.

“Probably better for both of us if we never mentioned that.”

“Wanna snuggle some more?”

Spike frowned at him and then shrugged. “Yeah, alright.”

He lay his head back down. Angel petted it. It was still soft, and fluffy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus endeth the bunny!Spike


End file.
